Healing to Hurt and Hurting to Heal
by DenizenofTwilight
Summary: Sequel to "Stand There and Watch Me Burn". Sora has just turned eighteen, and Kairi isn't too far behind. Whilst preparing for the looming threat of Xehanort, Sora and Kairi find that they're remembering events from another life: A time where Sora chose to become Marluxia's heartless pawn. And through it all, Sora and Kairi will learn that there's always hurt in the mending. SoKai.


**Author's Note: This story is a sort of continuation of my "Stand There and Watch Me Burn" story. While you don't have to read that story to understand what's going on here, it would probably help. **

**It should also be noted that this story is rated T, and has some dark themes (not surprising, since STaWMB was rated M—though I still think it was pretty tame, for the most part—and was quite dark). So read with caution, I guess?**

**Also, the characters (Sora and Kairi) are eighteen in this. And I'm pretending that KHIII is three years after DDD. Yeah…**

**Anywho, the main synopsis for STaWMB is that it's a CoM AU, in that Naminé destroys Sora's heart, and makes him Marluxia's heartless puppet. **

**In the story, Sora's love for Naminé is all he believes in, and so all hell breaks loose when he meets Kairi again. He thinks she's a witch trying to make him forget Naminé, and nearly kills her many times (mainly because he's under orders from Marluxia, as Kairi's part of a resistance, and also because she has the ability to wake him up). **

**Also, Sora's very, very dark in that story, as he's being possessed by Vanitas through a huge majority of it… And at the end, Terra gets the X-Blade, and uses it to turn back time, so Sora can choose to keep his memories of Kairi, and thus the canon story comes back into play, and everything's set right. **

**Anyway, I don't think you need to know the rest of the fic, but this gives you a basic idea of what's happening here.**

**Enjoy, I hope?**

**Healing to Hurt and Hurting to Heal**

**Kairi's PoV**

There were times when Kairi felt it; like a radio frequency she could just barely hear in her head: memories.

Memories of Sora and herself in less than peaceful situations. Surely she was just remembering the fights the two of them used to get into about if one fruit-by-the-foot equaled a popcorn ball, right? It couldn't have been anything too serious, yes?

Always in her head, Kairi would try to assure herself of this, but always it proved to be for naught. Why was she remembering being Sora's enemy of all things? Such a thing was so utterly impossible, that it was ridiculous.

And yet… such moments where she believed such things—and Naminé's actions around Sora seemed to make sense to her—were occurring more and more.

Just what… what was happening to her? In the end, Kairi didn't know. And when she eventually found out, it'd be far too late.

…

Kairi paused in her temporary peaceful training with Sora and Riku (peaceful in that, Yen Sid had allowed Kairi to train on her home world for once), as she felt a certain idea trying to worm it's way into her head.

As she stood on the shore adjacent to the paopu tree island (where Sora, Riku, Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka had once sparred together), Kairi couldn't help but remember what she'd used to do on such occasions. While everyone else had been fighting, Kairi had always taken a twig in hand, and opted to draw in the sand.

As she stood in that same spot now, with her Keyblade in hand—all the while, Sora and Riku looking at her quizzically—she couldn't eliminate the idea that maybe she ought to do it again.

"Kairi, will you please stop daydreaming about writing or drawing in the sand, and focus?" Looking up from the interesting sight that had been her feet buried under the sand grains, Kairi looked up at Riku and met his snappish tone with a scowl of her own. As a Keyblade Master, Riku was taking his responsibility of being Kairi's teacher very, very seriously. And though Kairi was, truthfully, very grateful for her friend's help…

She also couldn't help wishing that he'd just shove off. And as such a thought was very uncustomary for her, Kairi couldn't help but be a bit scared. How could it be that after her having told Sora not to change, that she had in the worst way possible? She was such an idiot!

Seriously. Where was a punching bag when she needed it? Maybe she could get away with punching Sora in the shoulder, via her aggression? Yeah. That sounded like a good plan. Maybe then Sora would learn to not be such a pushover, and to not let Naminé mess with his memories again or something…

"I'm not being distracted, Riku!" Kairi shouted, as she, ridiculously, took to tapping her foot like an angry housewife. "I think I've discovered a new kind of power, alright? How to make Corridors of Light, maybe? Can that be done? I think by unlocking the Lanes Between with your Keyblade-"

Trailing off, as her anger began to dissipate, and Riku deigned to look at Kairi as though she'd grown two heads (something she was quick to spite him for, by bowing to his shocked expression), the redhead thought it was probably best to stop her ramblings for the day. Since when had she wanted to become an inventor, anyway? Sheesh.

Oh, and was Sora staring at her? That was certainly great, Kairi thought to herself, as she looked into the ocean-blue eyes of the boy she loved. Or… maybe not so much. Yikes. What was going on in Sora's head to make it look as though something dark and dangerous—like lightning, maybe?—had flashed in his eyes?

"Riku, I think Kai needs a break," Sora lamented with a yawn, as he stopped pouring out coconut milk onto the sand, like he had been doing the entire duration of the fight.

As her eyebrow rose up into her hairline, Kairi found she couldn't understand what Sora had thought to exact from "thinning" the milk or whatever. Was her perhaps trying to use the beverage as a sort of paint, or-

"I mean, c'mon. You know Kairi's condition, with blood thinner and all that. If we're too hard on her, we might kill her and I _won't_ have that."

Oh… So Sora had been doing what he had been to remind Riku of her condition? That was nice, Kairi supposed. Riku always had done better with visual aids, she'd found. But at the same time… why did Sora's concern for her put a note of fear in her heart? She should have been kissing the ground Sora walked on, after him having defended her like that. And yet…

Kairi couldn't shake the dread she felt, for the possessive lilt Sora had had in his face when just talking about her. She was being stupid, she knew. Surely she was just scared because they were talking about her illness, and yet-

"Fine, then!" Riku growled as he, unfortunately, seemed to take a leaf from Kairi's book, when it came to the anger department. Dusting the sand off his hands, that he'd been using to better grip his Keyblade, Riku sent one last withering look at Sora of all people, before exclaiming, "But when Master Yen Sid thinks you two slacked off by playing footsie with each other all day, don't blame me! _I_ tried to get her to focus in this stupid environment, but I guess I should have known not to bring the goof-off extraordinaire with us, huh?"

If there was anything making Kairi feel guiltier than her confusing feelings about everything lately, it had to be that she seemed to be driving a wedge between Sora and Riku, as well. She'd always thought she had been, sadly, but somehow… somehow it seemed to have helped them for the better.

Now, though, the Princess of Heart just found herself wishing she'd never come to the Islands. Surely her two favorite people in the world would have been much better off without her. As Kairi took to sitting on the ground (right over the design she'd been carving out, when her inspiration had struck her and started the entire mess), she very much wanted to bury her face in her hands and cry, but somehow she didn't. It was as though she'd learned how to stop crying long ago.

And who knew? If her messed up memories and emotions of late were anything to go by, maybe she had? Reluctantly, Kairi watched the hurt look on Sora's face, as Riku stormed off. And reluctantly, she let both things go. She'd never been good at taking the initiative, anyway…

"'Goof-off extraordinaire'?" Sora deadpanned, as he put a hand to his hip, and seemed to be trying to mimic the look on Riku's face when he'd said what he had. "Well excuse me for, you know, actually liking our home! Excuse me for wanting to enjoy it while we can, and not hate on it seventy-five percent of the time! Maybe your problem was never that this place was too small, but that you can't see beyond anything five feet in front of you!"

Turning towards Sora with a small smile on her face despite herself, Kairi had to laugh at her boyfriend's funny way of chewing someone out. His wording truly was Sora-approved, as it should have been (though at times, Kairi did wonder if Sora had swallowed a dictionary and was just spitting out words at random).

She also had to wonder what could be gained by him punching up at the sky, and shouting long after Riku had departed. Not that she was going to blame him for wanting to vent, though. As it was, Kairi very much wanted to vent herself, via a drink. She hadn't done that since- Well, it didn't matter.

"Why do I get the feeling you wanted to call Riku something completely different from what you did?" Kairi asked, as she cocked her head to the side, and swept her arms up and towards Sora so he could help and pull her up. And, of course being Sora, the idiot actually missed grabbing her the first time, and actually succeeded in somewhat dropping Kairi awkwardly onto her ankle.

Rolling her eyes at how hopeless they all were together (even the two who were meant to be experts in combat), Kairi quickly Cured her ankle before it could became sprained, and rocketed up and into Sora's arms herself, but acted as though Sora had succeeded in helping her himself.

It was with that mindset and type of falsities that the two began walking toward the boat dock together, and if Kairi had felt bad about lying to Sora by making him seem like a valiant hero, she felt a little bit better about it, in that he was chivalrously letting her lean on him (and what was this? Massaging her shoulders?), as they headed back the way they'd came.

"Technically, it's because I did. I wanted to start calling Riku 'White-Haired-Wonder' again, but thought better of it, when realizing his hair's really more silver than white. I won't ever have it be said that my taunts are inaccurate, or have zero alliteration to them. So there. Plus, I've realized there are more…satisfying ways to get back at Riku, if I really want to. He just makes it too easy, really. Y'know?"

And as a glint of gold seemed to appear in Sora's eyes at his admission, Kairi thought she did know. All too well. She still remembered well that Riku had once had a crush on her, _and_ that Sora had still been holding onto her, when speaking about getting back at Riku. Just what in the world were the three of them becoming? It scared Kairi to find out, but at the same time… she knew she had to.

"So… you're going to be eighteen soon, huh Sora?" Kairi asked mainly to distract herself, but also because she was having the hardest time imagining Sora being an adult. Appearance wise, she knew he probably wouldn't change much (he never had). And though Kairi would have liked to believe he wouldn't change personality-wise, she wasn't sure if that was possible anymore.

Or, even… if it was right for her to ask that of Sora. He needed to be able to grow up and mature. And, perhaps, even date other girls who weren't minors? At least until she was a year older, anyway, Kairi mused.

And yet… the thought of him even dating someone like Naminé (who was her Other) gave Kairi enough incentive to want to start destroying things with her Destiny's Embrace. Sora and Naminé together would be decidedly terrible, Kairi knew.

And as she thought it… she had to wonder when she and Sora had begun talking so formally? Perhaps it _was_that they were aging? Yikes. If that was it, Kairi wasn't sure she ever wanted to grow up.

Running a hand through her elongating hair, Kairi found herself feeling very angry at the whole institution of age. After all, the order one got: the more reason they had to cry. And crying went against Kairi's new mantra and ideals, so…

"Hey, Wittle Kairi. You mind telling me what's going on in that pretty red head of yours?" Sora said sing-songily, as he chose exactly that moment to stop walking, and nearly made Kairi fall over, from where their hands were joined, as a repercussion.

Looking back behind her at Sora curiously (and though she was tilting her head at an awkward angle to do so, it wasn't all bad, since Sora had been kind enough to give her a massage and all), the girl had to wonder why he was calling her "wittle" again. He hadn't done that, since… Well, when they were little, and he would rub it in everyone's face that he was now five and three-quarters.

Suddenly, Kairi was irate with herself for bringing up the age thing. Just what had she been thinking?! What if he really started thinking he needed to date someone older? He'd always been obsessed with ages, hadn't he?! Then again… as Sora seemed to be being more of a rebel lately, maybe their "age difference" was a good thing? Maybe he'd kiss her, even?

As Kairi opened her mouth to ask such a thing, as she'd learned long ago that if she wanted something from Sora, she simply had to ask him and he'd try to see it through, she was just about to ask him to makeout with her... However, the words that she ended up saying ended up being something else entirely.

"Hey, Sora? Do you remember the night before you went to take your Mark of Mastery exam and we talked? Do you remember anything of what we said? I know we didn't even remember back then, even: the day of your departure, but…"

"Actually, now that you mention it," Sora said with a tone in his voice that Kairi had never heard before (one that instantly made her want to look up from fiddling with her necklace, to see the expression on his face, though she didn't because she was somewhat… frightened), "I really don't. Given everything that's happened, I didn't really think about it much until now, but- I do remember thinking about the number eighteen for some reason. I'm not sure why.

"Kairi, do you think someone's messed with our memories? And that maybe- maybe eighteen's the key? Maybe I'll start to remember now, and you will too, when you reach that age? This is all crazy, I know, but… I can't help feeling we're missing something. And after I nearly became Xehanort-ified, I felt it even more so."

_I felt it the moment I started training in combat, and when I noted you'd become more mischievous and stand-offish than usual,_Kairi wanted to say, but she didn't. Instead, she kept messing with the chain about her neck, and looking at the sweat she accumulated there. And as much as she wanted to…Kairi still didn't look up at Sora's face.

"I remember feeling hurt—and being hurt—about a lot of things, but mostly… mostly I remember Serah coming to beg me to help Snow. Because-"

_Because of you_, was how Kairi's unfinished thought would have gone. But even now, when things were at the best between the two of them that they had been in a while (i.e. Sora and Riku were finally allowing Kairi to travel with them, and were no longer excluding her), Kairi found she couldn't say the words she meant to. Not now. Not to Sora of all people. Soon enough, life as everyone knew it could be torn asunder, and so Kairi would keep a lid on her thoughts of another life, even though… Even though she suspected they might be the key to everything.

As Kairi stood before Sora, still refusing to meet his gaze, she couldn't help thinking that in many ways, she was still very much a pushover. Would she ever learn?

"Hey, Kairi? What do you say we go and talk somewhere? I mean, don't get me wrong. I love staying with you on the Island as much as the next guy, but that wind is really starting to pick up and stuff."

At that—the loving tone Sora was using to try and usher her to safety (as Kairi knew he wasn't really bothered by the elements himself)—she finally found it in herself to look up at Sora, and smile with a grin even wider than his own. Perhaps she was just acting like a child, and dwelling on dreams she shouldn't have been. Perhaps she should just stop, Kairi allowed herself. Surely the thought of Sora being anything but he was now was preposterous.

But then again… hadn't he once told her he'd thought the same thing, when Axel had warned him that he _would_ change?

"Yeah. You're right, Sora. Let's go home," Kairi muttered, just as the last of the sunrays dipped below the horizon, and began painting everything within radius the color black. For a moment, Kairi couldn't help wondering what it would be like to have a bit of Darkness within her. As she dipped her bare feet into the shallow part of the ocean, she wondered if by maybe closing her eyes, she'd be able to picture herself in the Dark Margin, where Sora had once been.

Visualization would be the only way she ever saw the place, she knew. Someone such as her would never fade into the Realm of Darkness: she would be one with the Light, and somehow… it made the auburn-haired-girl incredibly sad. As Sora was beginning to become darker bit by bit, Kairi wondered if she'd even get to see her soulmate in a life after this one.

At once, Kairi's thoughts were shattered, as she felt Sora slipping his new blue and yellow jacket up and over her shoulders. Smiling at the sweet gesture, but also blushing for the contact (she noted that Sora's lips were lingering just a bit too long at her throat, for it to be an accident), she met to burrow herself into the warmth the jumper provided.

Placing a hand atop her forehead, as she gazed upwards towards the darkening clouds, Kairi wondered if maybe Sora's words about the wind held more truth than she'd originally thought. Were they going to get a storm?

As Kairi turned to face Sora, with her hand still atop her head (nearly smacking her boyfriend in the process), she could read in his face that he felt very much the same. Worriment was as clear as day in Sora's glowing blue eyes, but she also saw a bit of arrogance? As if he thought he could fight the storm off or something?

Deciding that for once maybe she ought to be the arrogant one, and do something useful herself, Kairi found herself latching onto Sora's wrist (and as she touched his bare hands—that were no longer obscured by his jacket—it caused electricity to course through Kairi, as if she was a livewire), and smirking in a way that she thought she'd probably learned from Riku.

Or… Sora, when he was trying to be like Riku, anyway. In fact, as Sora crossed his arms the moment he noticed the look on Kairi's face, she wondered if he was pondering the same thing about her learning from Riku, and if maybe he was jealous.

_You really shouldn't be, though, Sora. I'm sure I probably got it from you, anyway. You've been smirking more, since you've begun making more perverted jokes lately, you idiot._ And for the first time in a while, Kairi actually thought she could voice this thought aloud. She never got the chance, though. As always, her idiot boyfriend interrupted her. And in retribution, Kairi saw it best to glare at him.

"Say, Kairi. Not that I don't mind your dainty little hands gripping my wrist, as to try and shrink my freakishly big hands or whatever, but… isn't there an actual reason that you're doing so?"

Turning towards Sora lividly, Kairi's initial reaction was to tell Sora that she wanted to see if it _was_ possible to shrink his hands, so then she could apply the same idea onto his muscles, and therefore his ego. But realizing that the weather seemed to be getting worse and worse—was that hail she'd just seen?!—the redhead thought better of it, and instead decided to summon her Keyblade, like she'd wanted to all along.

And as she summoned it in the hand that had now taken to hovering over Sora's, she had the enjoyment of seeing the boy's eyes and mouth widen in alarm, perhaps realizing that with a wrong move, she easily could have cut him with her Blade.

Patting Sora on the cheek in an effort to comfort him (and, she'd admit, literally rub it in his face that she had one-up on him for once), Kairi finally set to explaining just what she wanted to do. "I came up with a trick whilst training with Riku. And so… Well, I thought we'd try it out. You said we need to get off the Islands, and by opening a Corridor of Light, I plan to do just that."

"No! Kairi, wait-"

It was too late. Just as Sora's words reached Kairi's ears, and he was finally able to get a hold of her, she'd already planted her Keyblade into the ground, and had turned it clockwise, towards the few patches of light she could still see shining on the seaside shack.

Then, before her very eyes, the splotches of white she'd thought she'd seen seemed to swell and grow, until they exploded around Sora and herself, and she felt a tugging at her heart.

As always, doing anything with her power of Light seemed to hurt Kairi the slightest bit. She understood now, that it probably had to do with her and the other Princesses of Heart making up all the Light in the world, so that whenever one of them opted to use their powers… they were straining themselves, but also pulling on the other Princess' hearts.

Yes, as Kairi suddenly found even the idea of standing to be too much of a chore, and her still opened eyes began to feel like lead, as they waited to droop down and give her rest, Kairi was very glad that Sora was there to catch her as she fell into… what looked like a portal to The Land of Dragons.

…

**Sora's PoV**

_She didn't cry this time, when she used her powers. But is that because she seems resolved to never tear up again? In truth, I _was_ glad about her being strong and okay, when she saw me off before the Mark of Mastery. Now, though… now I sort of miss her knowing she can be vulnerable around me,_Sora thought to himself, as he traversed the ever-changing Lanes Between, with his girl slung over his back. He wondered when Kairi would wake up…

Though she'd truly done a stand up job, in transporting the two of them to where they need to go to access another world, Sora would have been lying if he said he knew how to traverse these pathways. They were much different than the ones he'd gone through via the Old Mansion's portal or even Maleficent's.

While it was true it still remained a corridor, like to go on forever if it needed to, it seemed… it seemed as though the color palette had changed. A pristine white that wasn't as blinding (or binding) as the walls of Castle Oblivion had been, seemed to be the main color of the area. But every now and then, wisps of light blues, yellows, and pinks would dance over the area, like how rapids traversed up a stream.

Or, perhaps more accurately: how the rising falls in Radiant Garden seemed to look. Idly, Sora found himself wondering if all Light Portals would be like this, or if it was special because Kairi herself—Light incarnate—had made it. If nothing else, the "rising falls" sure seemed to speak of her memories of her original world.

"S-Sora, where am I? What's happening?" It was ironic, that in a Corridor of Light, Sora's thoughts would end up being anything _but_ Light oriented the moment Kairi awakened. But the way she was now moving atop him, and even moaning the slightest bit as she awoke, was making Sora's thoughts go down routes he really knew they shouldn't have been, if he wanted to remain Kairi's honorable boyfriend.

And yet- he found he wanted to do nothing more than press the girl he loved into the beautiful walls she'd created, and makeout with her for a time. Of course, he knew that would be a terrible idea on many levels, as he knew the Light very well could overtake him just like the Darkness could, but most of all…

Because the Light seemed to be hurting Kairi the slightest bit. And to that end, Sora knew he needed to get Kairi out of their current area as soon as possible. He could _never_ allow his Princess to be hurt like this. He just couldn't.

"Actually, I was going to ask you the same question. You've been giving Aurora a run for her munny, by the way, Sleeping Beauty. Anyway, where didya wanna go again? I don't think you ever told me. And as everything in this place is whitey-whitey-white-white, I don't see anything hinting at what world it's supposed to lead to."

As Sora felt Kairi's elbow suddenly dig painfully into his shoulder, he had to wonder if she was reprimanding him for calling her creation "whitey-whitey-white-white", the way he'd often insulted Riku's hair by naming that color. Did Kairi think he was insulting her work the same way, or something? If the fact she was suddenly kicking his shin, as she tried to disentangle herself from him was any indication, the answer was most likely" yes".

"Sora, you have absolutely no imagination. You know that? What is one white thing a world could have, which would be the distinguishing trait we latch onto, I ask you? We've been at our destination the entire time, dummy! Can't you see that? You're just too dense to realize the white represents snow. And I…"

Whatever Kairi had been about to say was instantly cut off, as Sora took to placing a hand on her cheek, and drawing stars there with his index finger. As always, he had to enjoy the way she leaned into his touch, even after having ranted at him. It reminded Sora that no matter how bad things got (or more to the point: how badly he messed up, and how much he didn't deserve her), Kairi would always love him, as he would her.

Even so, though… as he continued to draw minuscule snowflakes on Kairi's cheek, Sora couldn't help feeling… tricked somehow.

Going along with this idea, he muttered against Kairi's lips, "You could have helped me out some, oh-pro-designer. Maybe you could have made the snow look star shaped, rather than just a giant looking wall? Or you could even have made sure you were breathing cold air onto me when you passed out, so I could assume we were going somewhere cold. But… I suppose it doesn't matter now. We're here now, so do you want to do the honors, lady?"

As his words poured out of his mouth—the way an annoyed kitten might fall away from its mother's mouth, if it didn't want a washing—Sora was shocked to realize his words had come out harsher than he'd meant them to, and that he actually was a bit stung by Kairi's own words. He was being stupid, he knew. Kairi was sick—had passed out even—so if nothing else, he shouldn't have had a go at what she "should" have done while she was unconscious, but…

As strange shapes, sounds, and ideas began playing in the back of the Keyblade wielder's head, he found himself feeling much more like the Sora he'd been in his dreams lately, rather than who he usually strived to be. And that other Sora… for whatever reason, he didn't trust Kairi where The Land of Dragons was involved.

And why, oh why, would Kairi have sent them to a place that was frostbite and hypothermia waiting to happen, when the whole reason he'd wanted to leave the Island in the first place, was to get out of the bad environment?

"Oh, please. You have absolutely no reason to talk, Sora. As I understand it, you now have the ability to unlock Sleeping things, right? If you mistrust my judgment so very much, you could have taken us to a Sleeping World. You could have done it when I was unconscious, even, and you still could now. In fact, maybe you should've, if you were freaking out so much while I was KO'd. Certainly you couldn't have wasted time worrying about your girlfriend, so you might as well have done that. You should've left me for dead, because your previous comment insinuates you wanted to, anyway!"

"Kairi, will you just hold on a second? I'm not… I don't think I'm acting like myself much at the moment, alright? Or I don't know: maybe I am, and I was just trying to poke fun at you? I'm sorry! Apparently my wit sucks compared to yours and Riku's so just ignore me." All the while Sora had spoken, he'd been desperately trying to catch up with Kairi, who was running away from him, and to grab onto her arm. It was only when he started tearing himself down the slightest bit, that Kairi finally stopped her motions, and that he was finally able to catch up with her. Even then, though…

Even then Kairi's face looked haunted. She was also still trying to reach out towards their awaiting world, as to guide them both there. But as she did it, it looked like a reflex more than anything else. There was no feeling, heart, or reason to it at all. In fact, her face looked as though it had lost the ability to see reason in anything.

God, what had he done to her, Sora had to wonder. Did she really think he hadn't cared about her condition? That he would have just left her like that? He'd been joking! Why couldn't the usually brilliant girl see what was right in front of her? He would sooner die, then let anything happen to her. Didn't she know that?

And just what was Kairi thinking: using terms like "KO'd" (a term Sora had learned from Leon)? Sure it was fine when he was talking about his other friends, but Sora knew he'd never refer to Kairi so offhandedly. She deserved more Edwardian styled words about her, for one thing… and to see the proof that if anything ever happened to her, it'd tear his heart out.

"Yeah. Okay," Kairi allowed, as she (thankfully) finally found it in herself to look at Sora with a small smile on her face. Breathing a sigh of relief, the spiky-haired-brunette grabbed onto Kairi's hand and together, they walked through the opening and into The Land of Dragons' mountains.

Of course, Sora could sense that Kairi was still mad at him, as evident by the way she stormed off when their feet met the ground, but if nothing else… at least they were making progress. That was more than he deserved, after what he'd said to her… Not that he wasn't just a tad bit irritated at her for taking his words to heart, though. But for the most part, Sora had let it go. Kairi had much more reason to be mad at him, then he at her.

"Here, Kairi. Zip your jacket up. If you were cold at home, you'll likely go into shock with the cold here. This is pretty much the arctic we're talking about in this area."

Crossing over to where Kairi stood before him, Sora began zipping up Kairi's—his—jacket, without a word of approval from her. Keeping his eyes trained on her face during it all, (as not to make it awkward), Sora had to admit that the yellow in it seemed to go really well with her hair and complexion. He thought about maybe giving Kairi the jacket, when suddenly she screamed, and pulled away Sora's arms so suddenly, that he thought his skin would most likely get burns, from the friction her fast motion had caused.

"Kairi, what's-" Sora began, as he kneeled down to try and help Kairi to her feet, only for her to look at him as though she'd seen a ghost, and was… and was fearful of something. Swallowing thickly, as though he'd swallowed a bottle of syrup, Sora tried again (and tried to hide the horror in his own eyes). "Kairi-"

"Sora, I remembered! I remembered just now, when you touched the metal zipper at my throat, that- that…"

_That I once pressed my Keyblade, that's made of the same material… to your- to your throat. I know, Kairi. Do I ever, and how I wish more than anything that I didn't._ Though this was really what Sora was thinking, and wanted to say, he never did. Partially because it would have done no good to admit to something he'd technically had no control over, but also because admitting it out loud would have made it more real than even remembering it had.

Silently, Sora just crouched down to Kairi's level and looked at her with sympathy and regret in his eyes for a long while, until… until she was finally able to get a hold on herself again.

As Sora sat there, watching in Kairi's eyes as she battled with herself and the things they were both beginning to remember, he found himself wanting to pull her into his arms more than he ever had in his life. But that also would have been no good, Sora knew. So once again, he did nothing, but to implore Kairi with his heart to understand.

"I know I'm being stupid, S-S-Sora. I d-didn't even car-re b-back then, but I…"

"But you're not exactly the same girl you were in that other timeline or whatever it was. I understand that. And though part of me wishes you could scoff at what I—Vanitas—did, like you used to… I know why you can't. So don't worry. You don't owe me anything. And this- this venture was a mistake. We should go."

Not pausing to see if Kairi was following him, Sora opted to take his own advice, and started making it down the mountain, and towards the camp he'd once stayed at while helping Mulan out.

And as Sora walked down the hill thinking about everything and nothing, it seemed that despite his own words, he actually had no intent to leave their current world, after all. It took too much out of Kairi for her to transport them places. And since Sora was currently an emotional wreck himself, he didn't trust himself to do it, either.

So they would have to stay in The Land of Dragons for a night at least, Sora allowed. And if nothing else could be done about their current situation, they were at least getting off the cursed Mountain Pass.

_This is the same place where Xehanort murdered Marluxia in cold blood. In that- In that other life I lived, anyway. And I really should get Kairi away from this place, before she remembers that, too. She might _already_ remember as much as I have, but then again… if she remembered the nightmares this place had to offer, I don't think she ever would have brought us here. No, she wouldn't have. Not my Kairi._

His breath hitching in his throat, the moment he felt a familiar tug on his hand, and saw the sight of red hair blowing in his eyes, Sora could only look at Kairi questioningly. She'd followed him like he wanted, that was for sure. And he- he hadn't even been sure she would. So that was definitely a good thing, right?

But more important than all of that…Kairi was holding onto his hand. And though Kairi herself was looking off into the distance—where the few birds who hadn't flown south for the winter, were desperately trying to fly away from the storm—Sora found that he could only look at their interlocked hands and smile.

They'd get through this yet, wouldn't they? Kairi was so strong, to be able to onto his hand, after everything. If their situations had been reversed, he wasn't at all sure that he could have done the same thing, but that was why he had always loved Kairi, wasn't it? And it was why he always would. No matter what. Not even Naminé could fill-

"Sora, let's keep walking, okay? You were right. We should leave this place as soon as possible. I'm assuming that incline right there leads to the base of the mountain?" Kairi asked, as she indicated the rough, dirt path that Sora, Donald, Goofy and Mulan had once powered through to get where they were now.

It was a long trek down, Sora knew. And as thoughts of his current life returned to him apart from the one he despised, he found he was _so_ glad Kairi had pulled him out of his reverie. They needed to descend the Mountain Pass and fast. If they didn't, Sora knew there was a strong chance they would freeze to death by the time they got down.

Stretching his arms out and over his head, so that his bones cricked and cracked, Sora met Kairi with one of the truest smiles he'd experienced in a while, and said, "You're lucky that my friends and I cleared the boulders barring this path the last time we came here. Otherwise, the two of us would never get down! I may be strong, but I couldn't have done it by myself. And you- you were never the best at melee," Sora smirked at Kairi as he said this.

He wondered, idly, if Kairi realized exactly what he was planning to do. If her thoughtful expression was anything to go by, he supposed not. He grinned at the thought, that for the first time of late, he and Kairi might be surprised—and feel something—in a good way.

"So… So you're saying there still might be pebbles left over that we need to break through?" Kairi pondered, as she put her right hand under her chin, and took to tapping her lips, as if in thought (though Sora did have to admit he thought Kairi was feigning it. The gleam in her eyes was far too apparent. And Sora… Sora just found himself being very glad that Kairi's eyes only shone mirth. Not gold.) "Well, this is a troubling affair we've gotten into. Whatever can we do? Eep! Hey- Sora! Sora put me down. Put me down right now!"

The peals of laughter that erupted from Sora's throat, as he glided off the top of the mountain with Kairi in his arms, would have been enough to let anyone know he had no such plans. Smiling at the thought of finally showing Kairi that he could fly… err, glide (he wasn't in Neverland, of course), Sora relished in the thought of finally being able to do something fun, that he'd learned during his adventures, with Kairi.

This was… this was the way it was always meant to have been, Sora knew. The three of them should have journeyed together. And if by some trick of fate, Riku wouldn't have been able to go with them… he could have easily just gone with

Kairi. _Kairi_… his dear, sweet Kairi. How he must have hurt her, when he'd had the panic attack about going on the raft "just the two of them". Oh, how he wished Sora would have followed his heart, and said "yes' back then. If he had, he wondered how different things would have turned out.

"You know," Kairi snarled into Sora's ear (though it was only barely a whisper over the whipping wind), as she somehow found a way to sit cross-legged on top of his back, without either of them falling to their doom. "I'm kind of miffed at you for flying us down. One, because now I can now plainly see you aren't crazy in thinking you can fly. And I'm supposed to be right when it comes to my ideas about you, Sora. Jeez, don't you know that?

"But mostly… Mostly I'm sad you didn't let me walk the road you once took. I think it would have been fun! I could have jumped on that embankment there. Or I could have gotten a treasure chest there. Err… I suppose I wouldn't have wanted to fight those wasp looking Heartless, though. So maybe this is a good thing," Kairi allowed, as she patted Sora on the back so hard, that he thought he really might begin to fall.

Rolling his eyes at his beloved's actions, Sora tried to figure out just what magical ether had been concocted to make this girl—who was supposed to be completely Light—such a spitfire. Not that he was complaining, though. Sora smiled at the thought of his beloved's fire.

"But still… I wouldn't have minded experiencing all this world has to offer. I've never _truly_ been here, ya know? It's just another world I mostly hear about from your stories, but get no true experience out of it myself."

_Kairi, you don't want to "truly" experience this place. It has too many bad memories stamped onto it. Memories I'm glad you don't seem to remember: Marluxia being beheaded by __Xemnas;__ me thinking you were bewitching me part of the time I was here... I almost killed you for making me question my feelings for Naminé. _

_Yes, this place is integral to a lot of our bad memories in that other life, as it's where a lot of it went downhill. It led to me losing you in the end. In fact, it just makes me want to reach out into the night sky, and see if Terra left the X-Blade there again. If I need to use it to reverse time like he did, and save all of us_—_save you_—_I will. I will…_

"Okay. I can get why you'd say that, then, I guess, Kai," Sora said, as he literally bit down all the words he knew he ought to have been saying, but couldn't. And all the while, Sora hated himself for fighting back what he could have told Kairi, to explain why they should leave the place, but… as he despised even thinking about that previous time, perhaps it _was_ best that he said nothing.

Meanwhile, Sora was wondering why all these memories had to come back _now_ of all times. _Maybe Kairi's right. Maybe it's because I've reached the age I was in that other time_?

"Oh, look, Kairi. We've reached our destination," Sora noted, as he pointed at the small cave entrance, etched into the stone walls right outside of the base camp. Stopping his flight right outside of the entrance, and so abruptly that Kairi slid right off of him and into a hump of snow, Sora couldn't help but laugh.

Vanitas, he knew, when he'd been possessing him… had longed to see Kairi hurt, because he lived for that sort of thing, and wanted Aqua and Naminé more than Kairi (and had hated Sora for unknowingly forcing him to be with her).

Sora, on the other hand, didn't want to see Kairi hurt ever, but didn't mind it if she wiped out every now and then, as long as she was fine in the end. Kairi… Sora suspected she was one of the few people who could make him laugh, as much as he seemed to make others laugh. How he loved her...

"Are you okay, honey?" Sora laughed, as he extended a hand for Kairi to take, so he might help her up. "And are you actually going to let me help you up this time?"

As it was, Kairi just looked at Sora as if she wanted to say a lot of things that would have gotten her kicked out of her catholic school. Instead, though, she allowed Sora to help her up, and then muttered that it was only because she'd thought she'd seen blood, that she'd fallen.

"Kairi, there shouldn't be any blood here, okay? I think maybe you just saw the lit tapers coming from that cave, and mistook it for blood."

"Puh-lease, Sora. How could anyone be as blind as to do that?" There was a beat of silence between the two, as they stared each other down, before slowly ebbing their way into the place they'd be taking shelter for the night.

Finally, as Sora's winning grin apparently became too much for Kairi to bear, she threw her hands up into the air, and punched Sora once, twice, three times in the shoulder, before announcing, "Just shut up! I am not dense, okay? I'm just not. If anyone is, it's _you_, lazy bum."

And as there was no arguing that, Sora just shrugged nonchalantly, and ushered Kairi into the cave ahead of him. At first, Sora paused at looking at the vases—and carts, even—that littered the cave to the left side of its wall. That thought was immediately shot out the window, though, when Sora heard Kairi's sharp intake of breath, as she passed into the wide circular room that was lit only by candlelight.

Of course, Sora's first worried thought was that Kairi was hurt or being attacked, so summoning his Keyblade to hand in a quick flash of Light, Sora was instantly spilling out into the dead end in front of him, and…

Almost bowling Kairi over in the process. Thankfully, he'd stopped just before he'd sent them both spilling through the doorway, but… if anything, Sora's slight touch against Kairi seemed to set her off even more.

"Kairi, what is it?" Sora asked tentatively, as he reached out and put a hand on his girlfriend's shoulder, _begging_ the cosmos that she hadn't remembered all the times they'd fought—that _he'd_—hurt her, like he already had. Going off into a tangent, that Sora was sure was making him sound every bit like a dolphin, he began, "Is it that you don't think you can sleep here without Cutie Patootie or Mousier Moo? If you want, I can use magic and create you replicas of them. You don't have to worry. Your sleeping arrangements won't be altered while we're here, and-"

"Sora…" Kairi breathed quietly, as she turned around to face him with—what was that? —teardrops staining her cheeks. At once, Sora pulled Kairi into his arms, and began rocking her back and forth, in an attempt to comfort her.

That, however, didn't seem to be what she'd been looking for at all. Instead, Kairi first put her hand atop where Sora's heart lie (and he remembered, reluctantly, the time he'd thought he didn't have a heart in that other timeline: the time he'd thought he'd been a Nobody like—and therefore had to love—Naminé), but then it traversed even further down, until it landed on his abdomen. Breathing heavily, Sora thought he sensed where this was going.

"This is the place we- I mean, where we almost…" Kairi stammered.

_Where we almost made love_, Sora finished her thought in his head. So she remembered after all, then? That memory… as much as Sora hated thinking about what it had been like while he'd been Marluxia's puppet, and hated being in this world now, in general… that memory, was still one of the brightest ones he'd ever had:

Holding onto each other, when they didn't know what the future held in store. Him finally, _finally_ realizing that it was Kairi that he loved, and Naminé had just altered his memories so he thought it was her. Finally loving Kairi the way he'd been wanting to all along…

Yes, it was a good memory, that at least. And Kairi must have thought so, too. Though the dim lighting in the cave didn't offer much in the terms of allowing him to see, Sora still could make out her expression, and decipher that the lines trailing down Kairi's cheeks were for happiness, and nothing else.

"Kairi-" Sora began suddenly, but only for Kairi to cut him off with a small smile and the shake of her head.

"I'm starting to remember so much, Sora. Things I don't fully understand. And none of it really makes sense at all. I don't- I don't want to remember any of it. Those were some of the darkest times of my life, and I don't want to feel that hurt again. But at the same time… it was also speckled with times like this, and those moments… I want to remember them. I'm lost, Sora. I don't know what to do."

Barely aware that they were getting so close that their bodies were flush against each other's, and that he was now running soothing motions over his love's cheek, Sora looked into Kairi's eyes, and saw both sides of her in them. The her in this timeline, and the her from the other.

Speaking to both of them, something seemed to click inside of Sora's head, and he said, "You told me in that other life that you needed bad things, as much as you needed the good: that you couldn't understand love without hate, or healing without pain. Really, you told me a lot of things, and since I'm still your bum, I don't remember them all," Sora admitted sheepishly, but as Kairi laughed at looked at him lovingly via his words, he supposed he couldn't have messed up too badly.

"And I- I didn't understand it at first, Kai. But as I was fighting Xehanort, I thought of it and you. And it saved my life. It made me win a fight that, by all rights, should have killed me, but… But just thinking about you—and how similar _and_ different we are to the memories we're experiencing…Kai, I think you need to experience both of those things, too. And _I _need to let it back in. I need to learn to balance my Darkness again, because… contrast is the only thing that allows us _to_ see. Do you see what I mean? Am I making any sense at all?"

For a moment, as Kairi's hand trailed almost nervously against Sora's cheek, he thought fearfully that maybe she'd slap him or run away, even.

Heck, there was a part of him that even wondered if she'd kill him, if she thought he was becoming possessed again or something (and really, if either one of them had been sane back in that other timeline, she would have ended him), but instead of doing any of those things, Kairi instead traced a scar that Sora couldn't even remember receiving, and brought her lips to meet his.

It tasted of alcohol; it tasted of holy water, but most of all: it tasted of her. Of Sora's memories that could only ever truly have her at their center (something Sora had always known). And both versions of the couple's selves remembered everything about each other, in a way they never had before.

**Author's Note: So I'm not going to lie… for once, I actually really like one of my own stories. Shocker, right? But… I really like how this story went, how it came together, and how it ties into STaWMB.**

**STaWMB… Despite the fact I wrote it a long while ago (when my writing and grammar weren't nearly as good as they are now), I still love that story to death. Even if it does scare me a bit. LOL. **

**It was just so much fun to write, and I liked my ideas for it! To this day, it's one of the easiest/memorable stories I've ever written, and likewise, this story came out just as seamlessly, and Sora and Kairi's characters (from that story) came back to me with no problem whatsoever. **

**Who knows? Maybe I'll continue this story some day. I've always thought about doing so. I just need the time and inspiration to do it justice. Hmm…**

**And in other news… This is my hundredth story (technically), so yay! I wanted it to be something special, and I think this more than suffices=)**

**Happy SoKai Day, people!**

**-Shanna**

**P.S. Check my dA and Tumblr account (where I have the same username as I do here) to see my other contributions for SoKai Day:)**


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